Miris, Alexandria 340 A.D
by Cavafy, translation by Michelle Nicolaou
When I learned of the calamity, that Miris died,
I went to his home, but I always avoid
entering the houses of Christians
especially when they are in mourning or holding festivities.
I stood in a corridor. I did not want
to advance inside more, because I realised
how the dead''s relatives were looking at me
with obvious questioning and dislike.
They had him in a big room
and from the edge in which I stood
I saw a glimpse; all precious carpets
and bowls of copper and gold.
I was standing and crying at the edge of the corridor.
And I was thinking about our meetings and our excursions,
without Miris, they will no longer be worth anything
and I was thinking how I will not see him again
in our beautiful and lewd late nights
being happy, and laughing and reciting verses
with his perfect sense of the rhythm of Greek.
And I was thinking how I lost forever
his beauty, that I lost forever
the youth I unbearably loved.
Some old women, beside me, speaking lowly
of his last day of living-
on his lips constantly was the name of Christ
in his hands he held a cross-
Then into the room came
four Christian priests, saying prayers
diligently and praises to Jesus
or to Mary (I don't know their religion well).
We knew, of course, that Miris was a Christian
from the first hour we knew it, when the year before last
he came into our company.
But he lived absolutely like us
Of all of us, most addicted to the bliss
liberally spreading his money on fun
careless of the world's perception
he willingly threw himself into the nocturnal ruptures in the streets
when our company chanced
upon an opposite party.
Never spoke of his religion.
We even told him once
that we would bring him with us to the Serapeion.
But it was like he was saddened by that joke, I remember now
Oh and another two times come to mind now.
When to Poseidon, we poured libations,
he pulled away from our circle, and turned his look elsewhere.
When excitedly one of us said,
for our friendship to be under the favour and protection of the great,
the all beautiful Apollo- Miris had whispered
(the others didn't hear) " except me"
The Christian priests with big voices
for the soul of the youth, praised.-
I was noticing with what assiduity
and what intensive attention
to the books of their religion, they prepared
everything for the Christian burial.
And all of a sudden, I was overcome by a strange
impression. I felt as if Miris was leaving
from beside me indefinitely.I could feel how he felt,
Christian, with his people, and me who was becoming a stranger,
very strange, I was already feeling
a doubt haunting me: had I been fooled by
my passion and had always been a stranger to him.-
I jumped out of their horrifying house
I left quickly before it was captured,
before it was distorted by their christianisms,
the memory of Miris
